“When you know you know”

I hated that saying, I didn’t understand it, and married couples couldn’t quite explain it except to say “when you know you know – you’ll know when you feel it”. Discussions were always circular and frustrating.

Friends nodded in agreement with the frustration, and we fumbled through relationships. And then it happened to my oldest friend (an extremely sweet love story, but not mine to tell), and she nodded in agreement – “it is true – when you know you know!”.

Relationships aren’t easy. Firstly, you have to meet someone and venture through the interesting dating experience. Then you have to have time, and want to spend that time with that other person. Sometimes things are really hard, harder than they should be. Sometimes people make mistakes, and sometimes things just don’t work out. And you walk away, feeling slightly damaged before bouncing back, whether or not you were the breaker or the breakee.

And then you meet someone, and things aren’t so hard anymore. Things seem to fall in place and you’re scared because things feel too easy. You’re not used to this – why are there no struggles? Everything is simpler. How long will it last?

It slowly sinks in – this is how it’s meant to be. Yes, of course there are disagreements, but you would never do anything to intentionally hurt the other. The arguments are talked through and resolved, you spend the right amount of time together and apart. You start to see a future.

And that’s how it happened. It shouldn’t be hard early on. Yes, be willing to discuss, argue, and fight for the other person. Learn from past experiences. Know when to walk away. But most importantly, know when you have something worth holding onto and never letting go.

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