Roller derby is awesome fun. It feels like you belong to some underground society that only a select bunch know about. Games are held in YMCAs, halls or gyms and have an amazing atmosphere with cheering supporters.

In teams of five you try to block the opposing team’s ‘jammer’ who is trying to barge through to score points for their team, while also trying to assist your own jammer to get through, all while rotating around the track.

Male friends seem to be fans too, and I’m sure it’s purely based on the sporting aspect rather than the tight lycra shorts and fishnets.

London Roller Girls vs. USA in Newham, September 2012

London vs. USA in Newham, September 2012

I’ve decided that derby could be for me. You get to be angry and shove people around, and race through to score. Derby is in both New Zealand and the UK, so it could be an option when I move from Qatar. It looks as though great friendships are built and if you’re good enough you can travel and compete overseas.

One problem: I can’t skate. I tried once, my boyfriend at the time was trying to teach me. I fell over, on top of him, splatting onto the concrete. He never tried again.

It’s also not really a sport in the Middle East.

Not to worry! While in Qatar I can learn to skate, so then, when moving back to wherever, I’ll be ready to go pro. Right?

I’ve asked Santa (aka Hubby) for roller skates and safety gear for Christmas. He has declined as he is concerned for my welfare and is struggling between wanting to support me to do fun things and enabling me to harm myself. My coordination is his main concern. Despite this, he has said he will supervise if required, while battling his internal conflicts and perhaps wondering why he married a childish clutz.

Photo Credit: meanmissmustard.com

Photo Credit: meanmissmustard.com

The key to success, as I understand it, is your derby name. London Roller Girls have Grievous Bodily Charm and Goregasm amongst many others. If I use my time now to work on that, the rest will surely follow. So folks, what derby name ideas have you got?

If you’re interested in derby check out:

Auckland Roller Derbyย [The NZ season finished in Sept, so keep an eye out for events next year. Tickets are usually around $15, and totally worth it!]

London Roller Girls

Derby Rules & Info

This is what I expect to look like soon!

This is what I expect to look like soon!

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